Knitting again :-)

I'm so excited!!! All I've done up until now has been beanies and scarves. But yesterday I finished my first pair of baby booties and started on a second pair! Whoot whoot!

Crazy dreams, cravings, oh my!

I thought the crazy dreams were a myth... Boy was I wrong! They're a swirl of mixed images that make absolutely no sense. Most are happy or just kind of there. A few are nightmares. *Shiver* But boy are they crazy! One of my most recent ones was of Dusty, one of the cats here, juggling bits of chocolate that he stole from a tin jar! My first craving was for carrots. Especially cooked carrots. Luckily, my in-laws had just gotten tons of carrots so I was a very happy preggo camper. Since then I've gone through cravings for bacon burgers, mint chocolate chip ice cream, and donuts. Carrots have definitely been a staple craving. :-)

I had my first prenatal appointment on the 5th. Jon wasn't allowed to go. They said part of it was confidential. Basically it was a 2 1/2 hour appointment where they asked a lot of questions about my medical history, if I felt safe at home, if I had support, info on how the prenatal program works, and then had me feel like a pin cushion with vaccines and blood work. Whew! Well, I am now vaccinated for the flu and H1N1, am TB negative, and there are 5 vials of my blood being tested somewhere. They actually took 6 vials by accident but only needed 5. Go figure. :-) This time I was able to look at the needle while they were drawing blood. I pretended I was getting a tattoo and it wasn't so bad. Maybe there's hope for me to be a medical assistant after all!

Our first ultrasound isn't until the 26th. I'm anxious to see that our baby is okay. I think I'll breathe easier after that. Until then, I'm nervous. 16 more days!!! Just a little over 2 weeks and we can see our little bean!

Week 10:



















Week 11:

Oh BABY!

I haven't been blogging because well... I couldn't write about what I wanted to write about, until now...

WE'RE EXPECTING!

We were originally going to wait until I had my first ultrasound so we could be sure that everything is okay but I can't tell you how lonely it is to keep something to yourself for so long! When people asked why I wasn't drinking or why I wasn't going out late at night, I hated having to lie. So, here, in my 9Th week, we decided to let everyone know. Our parents and Scott (Jon's brother) knew on Christmas Day but we didn't tell anyone else. It feels like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders!

We were worried about our financial situation since we were both still unemployed, but shortly after (in Jan) Jon got a 6 month contract with Apple! Whew! A little less stress for us right now. We just keep the faith that everything will work out. I am still unemployed but now I have time to focus on getting our room ready for baby and making sure it can be as healthy as possible. Obviously our plans for moving this year is put on hold... at least until after the baby is born. We need to wait and see how Jon's contract goes. Fingers crossed that he'll get hired on!

This will be our first baby! Whoot whoot! Everyone asks what do we want, boy or girl. Jon is partial to wanting a boy. I don't really care as long as it's healthy. :-) I know people always say that but I really don't have a preference. I guess it's part of my Libra-ism. I can argue all day long about which would be better to have. Ha ha! Besides, it's not like we get a choice in the matter. God will provide with what he sees fit. :-) I'm anxious for our first ultrasound so we can be reassured that the baby is healthy... and if there's one or two! Twin run on both sides of our family so we're dying of curiosity.

My first appointment is next Friday. They said they only accept 30 women into their prenatal program so it sounds like we had good timing! No ultrasound at the first appointment though. They said it'll be getting a detailed medical history from me and doing blood work. I'm so excited and nervous!

Here are some belly pics, although please bear in mind, I was already "fluffy" before I was pregnant so it'll probably be a while before I start showing. :-)

WEEK 5 Belly Pic:



















WEEK 7 Belly Pic:




















WEEK 8 Belly Pic:



















WEEK 9 Belly Pic:

It's been a looong time

since my last blog. I'm married now! It's been almost 3 months. I've been pretty busy so when I have time to relax, I've just been too tired to write. Jon is still unemployed although now he's been averaging about 1 interview a week which is great! Fingers crossed! I am unemployed as well. Just before the wedding, I got the news that the store I work at was closing. Our last day was the day before Thanksgiving. It was definitely an experience. Customers were acting like it was Christmas and we had the last toy on Earth! There were many that were very rude and inconsiderate of the fact that we were losing our jobs. But there were a few that really made my day and sympathized with us. Thank you kind people. You don't know how much your kind words helped us get through the day and helped keep us thinking positively.

Other than that, what else... We're still living at my in-laws. I had hoped we'd be moving out by the end of the year but now that dream is on hold. Such is life. I've managed to keep pretty positive through it all but now it's getting a little tiring. I just have to keep the faith that GOd has a plan and I just need to trust in it.

When it rains...

Well I found out on Wednesday that our bartender has to bail out for our wedding do to court stuff. At least we know now and not a day before the wedding but it still sucks. Now we're scrambling to find another bartender and who knows what it'll cost. THEN the next day I go into work and find out that Samsonite has filed Chapter 11 and is closing half its stores, ours included.

Man. It sucks but at the same time, I just got to move forward and put my resume out there and not really dwell on it. We have many blessings that will help us right now. I'm glad I was adamant about making sure none of the wedding was put on credit cards other than our rings so we'll have no other wedding payments to make after the big day. We're still at my in-laws so we still have a roof over our heads. Although I was hoping we could move out by the end of this year but next year is okay too. I'm a little scared about the new car payment but as Father Jerry said, don't worry so much over money, you're always going to need more. Just focus on the good and the rest will follow.

I feel like I should be freaking out but I'm not. Am I crazy? Am I sane? I can't tell right now. My boss was expecting me to freak out. I just cracked jokes instead. Maybe when our doors close for the last time I'll feel it. Right now I just focus on the good that we got and push forward. It's the only way to go!

The Wives Club

It's September 1st. Our wedding is right around the corner! The closer it gets, the more I feel like I'm joining this "Wives" Club. An exclusive, elusive club that I finally get to be a part of. I can put in my 2 cents of why a husband's dirty clothes never make it into the hamper, talk about date nights, in-laws, and divorces. I was able to put in my opinion before but there seems to be some kind of acceptance that takes place within my San Jose group of friends when you tie the knot. Like a right of passage. Is it just my group of friends or does this happen everywhere? As I get older, my circle of friends changes.

My crew, my girls that I've known all my life, we're slowly catching up. We were brought up to be career orientated I think so we've been taking longer on jumping onto the marriage bandwagon. Within my San Jose group of friends, I'll be one of the last stragglers to finally get married. They're already married or have been married and have kids. It's kind of surreal when I hang out with them. Sometimes when we're sitting around the fire pit, enjoying our wine, in the midst of making sure their kids are getting ready for bed, I feel like I step out of my body and survey the scene. It's like I'm watching a movie. When did I grow up? When did this happen?

It's only a matter of time till I also jump in on their discussions over schools and babysitters and bedtimes. It's crazy! It's like entering this whole other world. I don't know how else to describe it. It's like that book "The First Wives Club" but before the divorces. We joke around about being the Desperate Housewives but for San Jose. I do wonder sometimes, how far away from the truth is that really? Not that far from the stories I hear. Go figure!

Well here's to the women of the Wives Club! Soon I'll be filling out my own membership card!

Helplessness

I found out last night that one of my best friends tried to kill herself on Monday. What the hell? Why? I don't want to lose her! I wish I could take all her pain for her so that she could be happy again. Is there something I could've said before? Or done? Were there signs years ago that I missed? Is there something I can do now? I feel helpless. I can't physically make her take her meds or watch her 24-7 to make sure she never tries it again. What do I do? I don't know what I would do if I lost her. She's been by my side since I was little. She's my other half.

I pray that now she'll wake up and get the help she needs. I just want her to be happy again. I want us to grow old together, laughing about the old days and how things used to be. It scares me to think I almost lost her and I didn't even know.

What is going on?