It's been a looong time

since my last blog. I'm married now! It's been almost 3 months. I've been pretty busy so when I have time to relax, I've just been too tired to write. Jon is still unemployed although now he's been averaging about 1 interview a week which is great! Fingers crossed! I am unemployed as well. Just before the wedding, I got the news that the store I work at was closing. Our last day was the day before Thanksgiving. It was definitely an experience. Customers were acting like it was Christmas and we had the last toy on Earth! There were many that were very rude and inconsiderate of the fact that we were losing our jobs. But there were a few that really made my day and sympathized with us. Thank you kind people. You don't know how much your kind words helped us get through the day and helped keep us thinking positively.

Other than that, what else... We're still living at my in-laws. I had hoped we'd be moving out by the end of the year but now that dream is on hold. Such is life. I've managed to keep pretty positive through it all but now it's getting a little tiring. I just have to keep the faith that GOd has a plan and I just need to trust in it.

When it rains...

Well I found out on Wednesday that our bartender has to bail out for our wedding do to court stuff. At least we know now and not a day before the wedding but it still sucks. Now we're scrambling to find another bartender and who knows what it'll cost. THEN the next day I go into work and find out that Samsonite has filed Chapter 11 and is closing half its stores, ours included.

Man. It sucks but at the same time, I just got to move forward and put my resume out there and not really dwell on it. We have many blessings that will help us right now. I'm glad I was adamant about making sure none of the wedding was put on credit cards other than our rings so we'll have no other wedding payments to make after the big day. We're still at my in-laws so we still have a roof over our heads. Although I was hoping we could move out by the end of this year but next year is okay too. I'm a little scared about the new car payment but as Father Jerry said, don't worry so much over money, you're always going to need more. Just focus on the good and the rest will follow.

I feel like I should be freaking out but I'm not. Am I crazy? Am I sane? I can't tell right now. My boss was expecting me to freak out. I just cracked jokes instead. Maybe when our doors close for the last time I'll feel it. Right now I just focus on the good that we got and push forward. It's the only way to go!

The Wives Club

It's September 1st. Our wedding is right around the corner! The closer it gets, the more I feel like I'm joining this "Wives" Club. An exclusive, elusive club that I finally get to be a part of. I can put in my 2 cents of why a husband's dirty clothes never make it into the hamper, talk about date nights, in-laws, and divorces. I was able to put in my opinion before but there seems to be some kind of acceptance that takes place within my San Jose group of friends when you tie the knot. Like a right of passage. Is it just my group of friends or does this happen everywhere? As I get older, my circle of friends changes.

My crew, my girls that I've known all my life, we're slowly catching up. We were brought up to be career orientated I think so we've been taking longer on jumping onto the marriage bandwagon. Within my San Jose group of friends, I'll be one of the last stragglers to finally get married. They're already married or have been married and have kids. It's kind of surreal when I hang out with them. Sometimes when we're sitting around the fire pit, enjoying our wine, in the midst of making sure their kids are getting ready for bed, I feel like I step out of my body and survey the scene. It's like I'm watching a movie. When did I grow up? When did this happen?

It's only a matter of time till I also jump in on their discussions over schools and babysitters and bedtimes. It's crazy! It's like entering this whole other world. I don't know how else to describe it. It's like that book "The First Wives Club" but before the divorces. We joke around about being the Desperate Housewives but for San Jose. I do wonder sometimes, how far away from the truth is that really? Not that far from the stories I hear. Go figure!

Well here's to the women of the Wives Club! Soon I'll be filling out my own membership card!

Helplessness

I found out last night that one of my best friends tried to kill herself on Monday. What the hell? Why? I don't want to lose her! I wish I could take all her pain for her so that she could be happy again. Is there something I could've said before? Or done? Were there signs years ago that I missed? Is there something I can do now? I feel helpless. I can't physically make her take her meds or watch her 24-7 to make sure she never tries it again. What do I do? I don't know what I would do if I lost her. She's been by my side since I was little. She's my other half.

I pray that now she'll wake up and get the help she needs. I just want her to be happy again. I want us to grow old together, laughing about the old days and how things used to be. It scares me to think I almost lost her and I didn't even know.

What is going on?

It's been a while...

since my last post. :-) I admit it's a combination of busyness and laziness. Haha! Mainly I've been working away and working on what details I can of the wedding. I think I'm stressing out because I feel like I should be doing more. You know, I plan as much as I could in advance so that I don't stress and yet, I still end up stressing out. Go figure! Ha ha! Well I guess it's good I did anyways so that it's minimized my "Bridezilla" moments. So far everyone is still talking to me so I take that as a good sign! :-)

Now onto a tangent...About 7-8 months ago, Jon's car went caput. Well, it still drove but just barely. We've just had it parked out front waiting on what to do with it. Do we fix it? Do we donate it? Then 2 days ago, my boss happened to ask if I heard about the Cash For Clunkers Program. Really? The main trick was that your average MPG had to be 18 or worse and you would use the credit towards a brand new, more efficient car. Originally I brought in my Acura but found out it was too fuel efficient. So I came home a little deflated about not getting a new car but I figured, well it's not like I really needed one. Jon is the one needing one. When the time is right, we will figure it out.

Well Jon at this point was intrigued. SO he did more research and found out HIS car was eligible! SO back to the dealerships we go. We debated so much on whether to do it or not. But in the end, we got $4500 for his junky car where we might've been lucky to get close to $1000 for donating it. Jon has me driving around the new car and he's taken over my Acura. LoL! So now we are proud owners of our first "family" car... a Honda Fit Sport! My future mother in law is already dreaming of the day when we start piling strollers and all that baby goodness into it. Haha!

Now onto another tangent, or rather back to the wedding. LoL! The closer I get to the wedding, the more I feel like I have ADD. Perhaps it was waiting, dormant, waiting to be triggered by the right circumstances! :-) Anyhoo, I can't believe that as I write this, the clock turns to midnight and it's officially August! One month and 19 days and I'll be a married woman! The last few months I've become more emotional. I picture little aspects of the day and I tear up. I read little sentiments in a magazine while I dream up the perfect quote to etch onto our toasting flutes, and I feel the need to grab a tissue.

When did I get so girly?!? This was NOT part of the deal! :-p But I take it all in stride and hope that it's just a phase. After all, I don't want to ruin my new MAC mascara! LoL! I'm not so much scared but just excited and full of wonder of what our joint life will be like? It's an entirely new chapter to my life to be sharing it with someone so intimately. To be with someone that I love and to share everything with him. To be with someone through all the surprises the future may have in store. To let someone in and not have any secrets, not holding back. THis is me, all of me.

And you know what?

I can't wait!

My wedding is killing my social life...

It's sad but true. This wedding planning process has become a second job. I don't know how people do it. I just can't keep my energy up! I love what I'm doing but at the same time, I feel like I'm doing two full time jobs at once! How do you do it? Good news is that all our hard work will pay off in 2 short months! Bad news is I think I'm going to pass out as soon as the reception is over. Ha ha! I've heard this is pretty common tho. Why do we subject ourselves to so much stress?

Because it's our once in a lifetime moment. :-) Every time I think about walking down that aisle and seeing Jon waiting for me, I get goosebumps. Sigh. I never used to be this sentimental... :-)

Movies imitate Real Life

There's a saying, "You just can't make this shit up!"

Sometimes we watch movies and say, "That would never happen in real life." Well, one thing I learned from my short stint in L.A. (or Hell-A as we call it), is that as unbelievable as some things are, some of it is based on some sort of truth. Usually it gets exaggerated so that it's bigger than life on the big screen, but somewhere at some time, something must have happened to the writer.

Case in point...

So I'm on my way to work. Some random guy cuts me off. Okay, whatever. There's always that asshole out there. I brush it off. THEN as I'm about to take my exit, I see this black SUV in reverse coming at me at a high speed! What the?!? He swerves towards my left to get onto the dirt divider. As he does, a little blue car decides at the last minute that he needs to take my exit. The two cars barely miss each other and I freak out because I have midday traffic around me with nowhere to go. I drive a little Acura Integra. If I get hit, my car is toast! Luckily I'm able to pump my brakes to slow down enough to give some room for the blue car to get in front of me.

This kind of stuff I see in movies during car chases! You just can't make this stuff up!